


Nothing

by KittyCatriona (War_Worn_Lipstick)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Drabble, M/M, Not A Happy Ending, Sad Ending, Sadness, based on a poem by Bo Burnham, no smut but there are sex mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-24 01:41:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7488393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/War_Worn_Lipstick/pseuds/KittyCatriona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A breakup fic based on this poem:</p><p>
  <em>Are you terrified, as I am,</em>
  <br/>
  <em>of nothing?</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Nothing scares me more </em>
  <br/>
  <em>than nothing. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What’s going on?” I ask, trembling. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>Don’t you say it. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>Don’t you dare. </em>
</p><p>–Bo Burnham, "Nothing," 2013</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing

Dan just wishes Phil would say something because this is getting ridiculous, it’s getting out of hand, it’s reaching a point of no return. He’s seen this happen before. It’s happened to him before. 

But then Phil does say something, he asks Dan what’s going on, and Dan can’t even form a coherent thought, so he just tells Phil that everything is fine. It’s said with just enough assurance that Phil doesn’t push any more, and so they go back to their silence.

They make a gaming video together and end up fucking on the sofa, and afterwards Dan is spent with Phil between his legs, and they’re both panting, and Phil is looking at Dan but Dan won’t look at Phil. 

“What’s going on?” Phil asks again, this time in a whisper. Dan can feel Phil’s breath on his cheek. 

“Everything is fine,” he says again, and this time he doesn’t even try to make it sound like it’s not a lie. And this time Phil doesn’t push any more simply because he doesn’t think it’s worth it. 

Dan’s pacing that night and his footsteps are muffled on the carpet but still loud enough that he’s sure Phil can hear them. In his mind, he’s finally having the conversation with Phil. 

“What’s going on?” Phil asks. 

“I’m tired,” Dan responds.

“Of what?” Phil asks.

“Of YouTube,” Dan responds. 

Phil breathes out a sigh of relief because he thought Dan was going to stop at “you.” 

Then they’re collapsing into a heap on the bed and Dan’s crying and their limbs are tangled together and Phil is telling him that everything is alright, they’ll work it out, Dan doesn’t have to do anything that he doesn’t want to do, Phil is by his side no matter what, they love each other so, so much. 

Except—

“Dan?” Phil asks as he pushes Dan’s bedroom door open. He turns on the light and Dan flinches. The boy is seated on the edge of the bed, gently but quickly rocking back and forth, tears streaming down his face, and his arms wrapped around his torso. Phil steps into the room and closes the door. 

Dan glances up, not bothering to hide his distress. He wants to tell Phil that none of this is his fault. He wants to tell Phil that this isn't about their relationship at all, and that he's sorry he's letting his own problems get in the way of what they have. 

Phil bites his lip, crosses his arms. His eyes start to water. “What’s going on?” he asks, and his voice trembles. 

He knows what's coming.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Heads up, I'm working on a chaptered fic, but I won't be posting it until it's completely finished, otherwise there's no doubt that I'll get bored halfway through and leave ya'll hanging. This way, I have inspiration to keep writing (if I finish, I can share it! yay!). All I'll say is that it's a flatmate fic with an awkward, slightly depressed (ofc, who do you think i am) Dan.


End file.
